Kung Fu Panda 3 Movie Novelization Read online

  Po was taking a bath with his kung fu action figures in a big wooden tub in the alley behind the noodle shop.

  “Teach me? Oh no, it’s the Dragon Teacher!” he made one action figure say.

  “Class is in session! Wutaaiii!” he said with another.

  Suddenly Mr. Ping burst in to the alley. Po jumped in surprise. “Oh hey, Dad! What’s up? I was just stopping by for a little soak,” he said, hiding the figurines underwater.

  “Okay, what’s wrong?” Mr. Ping asked.

  “Nothing,” Po lied. He casually shook some bath salts into the tub.

  “Nothing? I come home to find you taking a bath with your dolls—”

  “Action figures,” Po corrected him.

  “And instead of adding bath salts to the water, you just added Szechuan peppercorns,” Mr. Ping informed him.

  Po yelped. “Szechuan—oh my tenders! Hot!” He quickly poured some cool water into the bath and sighed.

  “Okay, yes, something’s wrong,” Po admitted.

  “There, there, son. Tell your daddy all about it,” said Mr. Ping gently as he grabbed a scrub brush and began scrubbing under Po’s arm. “Lift your arm.”

  Po launched into his problem. “Shifu says I don’t know what it means to be the Dragon Warrior. And now I have to be a teacher? I thought I finally knew who I was. If I’m not the Dragon Warrior . . . who am I?”

  There was a heavy silence until his dad broke in. “A teacher? Teaching kung fu? Po, that’s a promotion. Take the job, son! And someday, when you’re in charge of the whole Jade Palace, I can sell noodles in the lobby. Woohoo!”

  He turned back to Po. “Why are you still here taking a bath like a baby? Get out. Get up. Go, go, go! Franchise expansion awaits us!”

  Mr. Ping hoisted Po out of the tub and began to towel him off.

  “But what about the Dragon Warrior dumpling-eating contest? I have to defend my title!” Po reminded him.

  “No one’s going to beat your dumpling-eating record,” Mr. Ping assured him.

  A pig poked his head into the alley. “Someone’s about to beat your dumpling-eating record!” he cried.

  Po and Mr. Ping looked at each other in disbelief. They hurried into the restaurant. A crowd of villagers was gathered around someone and cheering, but Po couldn’t see who was eating the dumplings.

  “Go! Go! Go!” the pigs and rabbits chanted.

  “Who’s eating my dumplings?” Po demanded.

  “And who’s paying for them?” asked Mr. Ping.

  They pushed through the crowd to see the back of a huge, vaguely familiar figure leaning over a table. He was picking up dumplings and stuffing them into his mouth faster than Po had ever thought possible.

  “One hundred one, one hundred two!” the villagers counted.

  The big stranger pounded his fist on the table. Then he leaped up and turned, his arms raised in triumph.

  “One hundred and three! Yeah!” he cried, his mouth full of dumpling.

  Po and Mr. Ping gasped. The stranger was a panda! A panda taller than Po and almost twice as wide!

  Po was stunned. When he was just a baby, his village had been attacked. Po’s mother had made sure he was safe, but Po believed he was the only survivor. No other panda had ever been seen in the valley for years.

  “Who are you?” Po asked.

  The stranger held up a finger, pounded his chest, and then swallowed his last bite of dumpling.

  “I’m Li Shan. I’m looking for my son,” he said.

  Everyone gasped. The villagers all looked at Po. Mr. Ping looked at Po.

  “You lost your son?” Po asked.

  Li nodded. “Yes. Many years ago.”

  “I lost my father,” Po said.

  “I’m very sorry,” said Li.

  “Thank you,” said Po.

  “Well, good luck to you,” said Li.

  “You too,” said Po. “I hope you find your son.”

  “And I hope you find your father.”

  Po and Li both turned to walk away. The bunnies and pigs shook their heads. The villagers looked back and forth from Po to Li. How could these two pandas not see the truth?

  Then the two pandas stopped. Po looked at Li’s green eyes. And his big belly. And furry feet. Li did the same thing.

  “Son?” asked Li.

  “Huh?” Po asked, still not quite getting it.

  Li’s eyes lit up. “Oh my gosh, it is you!”

  Po gasped. He finally realized it! Li was his long-lost father!

  “Well, don’t just stand there! Give your old man a hug!” Li cried.

  Po ran forward and threw himself into Li’s arms. His father squeezed him in a big panda bear hug. Mr. Ping watched them, his beak open in shock. The Po action figure he was holding fell from his hand and clattered to the f loor.

  “I can’t believe you’re alive!” Po said.

  “I thought I’d lost you forever, Little Lotus,” said Li, holding back tears.

  Po backed out of the hug. “Oh, okay. This is very embarrassing, but I think you’ve got me confused with a panda named Lotus. My name is Po.”

  Li nodded. “Oh right, you wouldn’t . . . Little Lotus was the name you were given at birth.”

  “Really?” asked Po. There was nothing little about Po at all. Or f lowery, for that matter.

  Li knew what his son was thinking. He laughed. “Really!”

  Po shook his head. “I can’t believe it. After all these years. And you’re really here? This is amazing!”

  Po turned to Mr. Ping. “Hey, Dad! Come say hi to . . .”

  He stopped. Mr. Ping was his dad, but Li was his dad too, right? He turned to Li.

  “Um,” Po began, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to call you.”

  “I’m pretty sure he said his name was Li,” Mr. Ping said. There was a hint of suspicion in his voice.

  Li pointed at Mr. Ping.

  “You! Come here!” Li ordered in a booming voice.

  Mr. Ping started to back away, but Li scooped him up in a hug. “Thank you. Thank you for taking such good care of my son.”

  Mr. Ping squirmed out of his grasp. “Your son? Now hold on just a minute.” He looked at Po. “How do we know this stranger is even related to you?”

  Po wasn’t paying attention. He stood next to Li, and the two pandas were jiggling their massive bellies.

  “Look at that. Our bellies could be brothers!” Li said proudly. “Hey, son, let me teach you how to Belly Gong.”

  He bumped bellies with Po, and both bellies began to bounce and wiggle.

  “Belly Gong!” Li cried.

  Po laughed. “That’s so cool. They jiggle the same.”

  “It’s like looking in a fat mirror,” Li agreed.

  Po pulled the village sketch artist from the crowd and asked him to draw the two of them. “I can’t believe we’re taking a picture together!” Po said excitedly. But when the artist handed them the sketch, Mr. Ping had sketch-bombed them.

  “But I still don’t understand,” Mr. Ping interrupted. “I thought Po was the only panda left.”

  “No, there’s a whole bunch of us,” Li told him.

  “Where?” Po asked, excitement rising in his voice.

  Li bent down and whispered. “A secret Panda Village in the mountains.”

  “Whoa,” said Po. “But how did you know where I was?”

  “I received a message that led me here,” Li replied.

  The villagers began to gather around them. Everyone wanted to hear Li’s story.

  Mr. Ping’s eyes narrowed. “How could you receive a message if no one could find you? Sounds suspicious to me.”

  The villagers nodded, and all eyes turned to Li.

  “It was a message from the universe,” Li said.

  “Oooooooh,” said the villagers.

  “Whoa,” said Po.

  “Rats,” muttered Mr. Ping.

  “Now what’s all this about a Dragon Warrior?” Li asked.

  “How�
�d you know I was the Dragon Warrior?” Po asked. “Did the universe tell you that too?”

  “No, the poster did,” Li replied, pointing to the restaurant walls. Colorful posters selling DRAGON WARRIOR TOFU! and DRAGON WARRIOR SPICY NOODLES! decorated them.

  “And the gift shop. I bought a cup!” Li said, holding up a tea mug with Po’s face on it.

  Po grinned. “There’s so much to show you! You’re going to be so awesomely proud! Come on! Come on!”

  He grabbed Li’s paw and dragged him outside the restaurant. Mr. Ping watched them go. A bunny picked up the Po action figure he had dropped and handed it back to him.

  Mr. Ping stared at it. “I’m already awesomely proud,” he mumbled sadly.

  CHAPTER 5

  The Hall of Heroes

  Po led his father to the Jade Palace. They slowly climbed the countless steps going up the mountain.

  “Couple . . . more . . . steps,” Po said, panting.

  “Give . . . me . . . a minute,” Li panted along with him.

  “Feeling the burn,” Po admitted. “Do you have panda asthma too? Does that run in the family? Dad, you’re going to love this. It’s like the coolest thing ever.”

  When they finally reached the top of the mountain, Po swung open the massive doors of the Jade Palace. The only light in the room came from an altar lit with candles. They illuminated a smooth, jade f loor. Tall jade columns carved with dragons lined both sides of the hall. And between the columns were wood pillars topped with beautiful, mysterious objects.

  “This is the Hall of Heroes,” he explained. “Home of the most priceless kung fu artifacts in all of China.”

  “Whoa!” Li exclaimed. “This place is—”

  “Awesome? You were going to say ‘awesome,’ right? Because it totally is!” Po said.

  “Totally!” Li agreed.

  “But be super careful,” Po warned. “Everything is very fragile here.”

  Po pointed to a beautiful urn with handles shaped like dragons. “Like the Urn of Whispering Warriors. Um, someone broke that once.”

  “Who?” asked Li.

  Po looked up at the ceiling. “Some idiot.”

  He rushed to a suit of rhino armor.

  Li was impressed. “Wow!”

  “This is Master Flying Rhino’s battle armor,” Po explained.

  “I wonder if I could fit in that,” said Li.

  “Get out of my head, Dad! I’ve wondered the same thing!”

  “If I could fit in it?” Li asked.

  “If you could? No. If I could fit,” Po replied.

  “Oh,” said Li.

  Po grabbed him by the hand again and dragged him from one treasure to another. He stopped in front of a row of tiny helmets.

  “Dad, look at this! The battle helmets of Master Rat’s army!” Po said.

  Then he ran to dolphin-shaped armor mounted on the wall.

  “This is my favorite. Master Dolphin’s waterproof armor.”

  Po ran to a beautifully carved two-wheeled wagon with handles. “Check it out. It’s the legendary battle rickshaw of Emperor Hawk!”

  Li appeared behind Po, wearing Master Flying Rhino’s armor.

  “Sweet ride,” he remarked. Po saw him and jumped back.

  “Dad! What are you doing? We’re not supposed to touch anything!” Po reminded him.

  “Oh! Sorry, sorry,” Li said. “Should I put it back?”

  “Yeah, you probably should,” Po said, but still, he couldn’t help geeking out. “You look so cool, though! How does it feel? Do the hinges hinge? Does it smell like rhino? Does it feel like you can take on a thousand warriors and emerge unscathed?”

  Li nodded. “Yeah, it’s pretty cool.” He noticed a pull string on the armor. “Ooh, I wonder what this does. I should pull it.”

  He pulled the string, and the armor started to expand. Wings, shields, and weapons popped out from every inch of the metal suit. In the end, a battle f lag sprouted from the top of the helmet.

  Po gasped. “I think I just peed a little.”

  Li smiled at his son. The two of them turned and looked at the items in the hall like kids in a candy store.

  “Anything else we should try in here, son? Hmm?” Li asked.

  Po grinned at him, and the two started playing with everything in sight. They put rat helmets on their fingers and had a thumb war. They jumped on shields belly-first and slid across the smooth f loor like they were snow sledding. Po put on the dolphin armor and he and his dad had a mock battle.

  Po was having such a good time that he barely noticed when Master Shifu and the Furious Five walked in. But as soon as he did, he froze, mortified.

  “I’m going to get you! I’m going to get you!” Li was teasing, playfully head-butting Po with his armored rhino horn.

  “Shh, stop!” Po whispered.

  “Why? What’s wrong?” Li asked.

  Po bounded toward his friends, grinning sheepishly. “Guys! Guys! You’re never going to guess who just showed up! Not in a million years!”

  Li lifted up the front of his helmet, revealing his panda face.

  “Your father!” cried Master Shifu and the Furious Five.

  “Whoa, how’d you guess that?” Po asked. “Oh, wait a second. Yeah, of course. We look exactly the same. Dad, say hi to my friends, Mantis, Tigress, Monkey, Crane, and Viper. They’re kind of my best friends.”

  Then he pointed to Master Shifu. “And this . . . this is Master Shifu. Legend.”

  “It is an honor to meet you, Master Panda,” Master Shifu said. He looked at Po. “Perhaps your father would care to join us in the Training Hall?” He turned back to Li. “Your son will be teaching the class.”

  Each member of the Furious Five winced at the thought of Po teaching again.

  “Ho-ho!” cried Li, obviously impressed.

  Po thought quickly. The last thing he wanted was for his dad to see what a terrible teacher he was.

  “I’m sure he’s tired,” Po said. “I’m going to show him to the Chrysanthemum Suite.”

  Po grabbed his dad by the arm and dragged him away.

  “What? Tired? No, I’m fine,” Li protested. “I would love to watch you teach.”

  “Trust me,” Po said. “It’d be much more fun to watch me—”

  Suddenly a warning gong sounded, echoing through the hall.

  “—Fight!” Po finished.

  “The valley’s under attack!” Tigress cried.

  She raced off, followed by the rest of the Five and Master Shifu. Po moved to go with them, but Li held him back.

  “Son? Under attack?” he asked worriedly.

  “This is perfect!” said Po. “Now you can see what being the Dragon Warrior is all about. Follow me!”

  CHAPTER 6

  Jombies Attack!

  When Po and Li reached the village, Master Shifu and the Furious Five were on the rooftops, already locked in battle. Their opponents were green and glowing. They didn’t know it yet, but they were facing Kai’s jade creatures, the kung fu masters now under the evil yak’s control.

  Po leaped through the air.

  “Enemies of justice! Prepare for—” Po began, but the sight of the glowing Jade Zombies broke his focus. He botched his landing and fell hard onto the rooftop. “What’s the deal with the green guys?” he asked, shaking off the fall.

  Tigress punched one of the warriors and grimaced. It was like hitting solid rock.

  “Argh!” she cried. “Some kind of Jade Zombies.”

  Monkey landed near Po.

  “Jade Zombies?” Po repeated.

  Then he and Monkey had the same thought at the same time.

  “Jombies!” they yelled together. “Jinx!”

  Li rushed up, panting, and called up to the rooftop.

  “Lotus! Be careful!”

  “It’s okay, Dad! I do this every—”

  A green warrior lunged at him, and Po fended off the blow with a swift movement of his hands. A second warrior, identical to the f
irst, attacked him on his other side.

  “Whoa. I recognize these guys!” Po cried. “The Master Badger Twins! With their Crushing Double Gong Technique!”

  The two jombie badgers crashed into him from either side, hitting him square in the head.

  “Yeah, that’s the one!” Po yelled, pushing them both away. Then he noticed something else strange. “That guy is . . . Noooo! Master Porcupine!”

  The spiky jombie launched one of his sharp darts at Po, and Monkey f lew in to def lect it.

  “I thought he died a hundred years ago,” Monkey said. He threw the dart back at the porcupine, and it smashed into bits on contact.

  “These guys are legend!” Po said excitedly.

  He reached down from the roof and plucked the village sketch artist from the crowd.

  “Get a quick sketch of us!” he said, as he hurled himself back into the battle.

  The little pig quickly sketched Po, who smiled and posed between delivering punches.

  “Did you get it? Did you get it?” Po asked. He rushed over to the pig and looked at the sketch. “Aw, I blinked! Can we get another one?”

  Whoosh! Master Porcupine hurled himself at Po, and they both tumbled over the roof. They crashed through the ceiling of the back room of the noodle shop, Po’s old bedroom. The jombie wrapped his hands around Po’s neck as they fell.

  “I’m being choked by Master Porcupine! This is so cool!” Po said. He grabbed his Master Porcupine action figure off his shelf. “Look! It’s you!”

  Master Shifu jumped into the room and knocked Master Porcupine off Po.

  “Po, focus!” he warned.

  Po went f lying backward and crashed through the f loor and down into Mr. Ping’s kitchen.

  “Sorry, Dad! I’ll clean it up later!” Po said, scrambling to his feet as two jombie warriors appeared and attacked him. He grabbed the nearest weapon he could find—a frying pan.

  “Whoa, whoa, not my good pan!” cried Mr. Ping. “Take this one!”

  He took the pan from Po’s hand and replaced it with a soup ladle. Po used it to fight off the warriors as best as he could.

  Li ran into the kitchen.