The Furry and the Furious Read online

  Taste the sting of my steel!” grunted a rhino captain as he slammed his playing piece down on a game board.

  “Nice move, Chief,” said his opponent, a rhino guard.

  They were watching over a bridge on the Chinese border . . . but it was a quiet night.

  Then a stone tumbled down from the rocky cliffs behind them, and the two rhinos looked up. A small emperor tamarin monkey with a white beard was bounding across the bridge toward them.

  “Border patrol! Identify yourself!” demanded the captain.

  “Fools! You are like worms challenging a large dog or perhaps a midsized cow,” said the monkey, his voice full of contempt. “You are helpless before me—Pai Mei, high priest of Abusive Lotus!”

  He struck a kung-fu pose.

  “Pai Mei? Wasn’t he that traitor who tried to destroy the emperor?” the guard asked.

  “Get him!” yelled the captain.

  They charged at Pai Mei, pointing their spears at him, but the little monkey backflipped out of the way. Then he kicked the spears out of the rhinos’ hands and posed again, holding his paws in front of him. They glowed white with mysterious energy.

  Pow! Pow! He struck each rhino once in the chest, and the great beasts toppled over, groaning.

  “Now, you unworthy soapmongers, direct me to the kung-fu master known as Shifu,” Pai Mei demanded.

  “Shifu?” the captain replied, his voice shaking with fear. “He’s in the Valley of Peace.”

  Pai Mei grinned, satisfied. “He shall be my next miserable victim,” he said, and then leaped away.

  “Next victim?” the captain asked, puzzled, turning to the guard. They both looked down to the spot where Pai Mei’s glowing paw had touched them, which was now white from the heat.

  BOOM!

  A blast sent the rhinos flying off the bridge, into the valley below.

  “Ugh,” the two rhinos groaned.

  So much for a quiet night.

  Greetings, everyone, and welcome to the first-ever Tournament of the Sun Pennant!” Master Shifu announced.

  The villagers cheered. They were gathered in town to watch the race.

  “Racing today will be the Dragon Warrior and the Furious Five . . . ,” Shifu said, pointing behind him. Po stood with Tigress, Viper, Monkey, Mantis, and Crane. “Against the visiting masters of the Onyx Temple.”

  On the other side of the stage stood five tough-looking ducks with black feathers.

  Next, Shifu pointed to an orange lizard seated on the stage behind him.

  “The esteemed Master Chao will present the winning team with a fabulous prize sent by the emperor himself,” Shifu said.

  Chao nodded and patted the large, carved box next to him.

  One of the ducks waddled up to the Furious Five. “You Jade Palace losers are about to get schooled!” he taunted.

  “Big-time! It’s gonna be epic!” said another duck.

  “Pop! Pop!” said a third.

  Mantis jumped toward him. “I’ll pop you, dork face!”

  Po stepped forward. “We got a word for guys like you,” he said. “Not nice!”

  “Enough!” barked Master Shifu. “Your behavior is not befitting masters of your station.”

  Master Chao approached him, chuckling. “Oh, relax, Shifu. The young people are just letting off steam. Surely, you remember what that’s like, don’t you?”

  Shifu sighed. “Beg your pardon? But it’s been a long time since I was that young.”

  “Everyone gets older, Shifu,” Chao told him. “Which reminds me. The emperor sent a special gift just for you.”

  He handed Shifu a small metal case. Shifu opened it—and pulled out a pair of eyeglasses.

  “Thank you, Master Chao. But I assure you, my eyes are just as keen as ever.” Shifu sniffed. “Now, if you’ll excuse me . . .”

  He handed Chao the glasses and then turned to walk away—and walked right into a pole!

  “I intended to do that,” he mumbled. He kept walking . . .

  And crashed into another pole!

  Without a word, he went back to Chao and took the glasses.

  As the teams got ready for the race, Shifu looked at himself in a mirror. Glasses! He had never needed glasses before.

  “Chao’s right,” he said sadly. “I am old!”

  As Shifu shuffled away from the mirror, his furry ears perked up. He heard Po and Chao talking in hushed tones behind the stage.

  “Po, I need your advice,” Chao was saying. “Sadly, an old friend of ours has finally outlived his usefulness.”

  “What do you mean?” Po asked.

  Chao held up an old, rusty wok. “It’s time for a change,” he said. “But his replacement will have to be newer, cooler, and incredibly more awesome, as you would say.”

  “No problem, Master Chao,” Po said. “I’m just the guy to do it.”

  Shifu had no idea they were talking about a wok. “They’re going to replace me!” he cried as he marched away. “Chao wants someone cooler, more awesome, more modern. I can’t be any of those things.” Then he smiled. “Or can I? That’s it! I’ll be young!”

  Shifu hurried toward the starting line of the race at the beginning of the road leading out of the village.

  “We are ready to go!” Chao was saying to the teams. “Each team will race through the forest to the Tai Young Temple. There they shall do battle for the Sun Pennant. Are the Onyx Masters ready?”

  The five ducks leaned down, ready to race.

  “And the Jade Palace Masters?”

  Po and his team leaped into place.

  “Ready, Master Chao!” Po cried. “And so are the Furious Five!”

  Master Shifu jumped up to the starting line.

  “Make that the Furious Six!” he cheered.

  The Furious Five stared at him, stunned.

  “Gosh, Shifu, what are you doing?” Chao asked.

  “Just relax your flaps, Master Chao,” Shifu replied. “I’m joining the tournament.”

  “But, Shifu, the games are for the young people, the junior masters,” Chao protested.

  Shifu turned to the crowd. “Let’s ask my pea pods. Who wants to see the Sheefster in the tourney?”

  The crowd clapped and cheered.

  Po walked up to Shifu. “Uh, Master, are you sure you know what you’re doing?” he asked.

  “Check it out. Large and in charge,” Shifu said. “I’ll show you and Master Chao that I still gots the moves.”

  He backflipped across the village square.

  “What about the emperor’s prize?” Mantis whispered to his teammates. “I don’t wanna blow that.”

  “Relax,” Po said. “It’s Shifu. He can still bring the butt-whoop.”

  Chao shook his head. “This is a bit odd, but okay. Shifu can race with the Furious Five. On your marks!”

  Shifu stopped flipping and got in line next to Po, crouching down in starting position.

  “First team to return to this spot with the Sun Pennant wins,” Chao said. “Begin!”

  The Furious Five and the Onyx Masters raced out of the village. The ducks took the lead first, heading into the thick bamboo forest. The Furious Five quickly lost them.

  “Focus, everybody,” Po said. “We can beat these ducks to the temple if we use strategicalness.”

  He nodded to Tigress, Mantis, Monkey, and Crane. “You guys race ahead and ambush them. Shifu, Viper, and I will attack from behind.”

  “Pffffft! Plans are for squares,” Shifu said. “Rebels like me think outside the box. Pop, pop!”

  Then he ran off.

  “Master Shifu, wait!” Po cried.

  “He’s going the wrong way,” Viper pointed out.

  “Shifu, hang on!” Po yel
led, and he and Viper hurried off after him.

  The others raced toward the temple. To get there, the teams had to cross a stone bridge built high above a ravine. That led to a pathway lined with giant stone Croc statues that breathed fire at passing travelers.

  It looked like the ducks reached there first. They flew over the flames, and one of them jumped up to grab the red Sun Pennant hanging from the flagpole. But when he jumped up, it wasn’t there.

  Tigress jumped down from the pole. “Looking for this?” she asked, holding out the flag. The Jade Palace warriors had arrived just in time!

  The ducks charged at Tigress. Crane, Monkey, and Mantis came out of hiding and leaped into battle.

  Pow! Tigress fended off a duck and tossed the flag to Monkey.

  Bam! Monkey swatted away two ducks. Then one duck flattened him with a hard kick, and the flag went flying out of his hands . . .

  But Crane flew in, grabbing it! He passed it to Mantis, who swiftly dodged the ducks. Then Tigress grabbed it again.

  “We’re still outnumbered!” Mantis yelled, as the ducks surrounded them. “Where’s Po?”

  “B team! Attack!” Tigress called out.

  But there was no sign of Po, Viper, or Shifu. The ducks launched another assault.

  Bam! One knocked down Tigress. Before she could get up . . .

  “Aaaaaaaaah!” Po jumped in, sending the duck flying with a powerful punch.

  “You’re late,” Tigress grunted.

  Viper wriggled up. “Shifu ran off—again.”

  Slam! A duck tackled Tigress, taking the flag from her. The duck was holding it up victoriously . . . when Shifu somersaulted down from above, knocking into the duck and rescuing the flag.

  “Slamma pajama!” Shifu cried. “The Sheefster’s still got the moves!”

  “Up high!” Po cheered, going for a high five.

  Shifu raised his paw—and his back cracked. He tried to straighten up, but he teetered backward and plummeted off the bridge!

  The Furious Five jumped after him, but they couldn’t catch him. They landed hard on the rocks below. When they looked up, the ducks were waving the pennant.

  Shifu slowly got to his feet, sighing. “I guess you and Chao have proved your point, Po. I can’t take the heat. I overheard you saying you want to replace me. Now you’ll get your wish.”

  “Replace you?” Po asked, puzzled. “Oh, no! Master Chao was talking about an old wok.”

  “A wok?” Shifu asked. He looked down. “I really am an old fool.”

  He hiked back up to the temple, too embarrassed to face the others. When he got there, he saw the ducks sprawled out on the courtyard, groaning. Someone had attacked them!

  “The Onyx Masters! But how?” Shifu wondered out loud.

  Pai Mei jumped down in front of him, chuckling.

  “They were like gophers who escape from a weasel only to be seized by an eagle!” The monkey chuckled. “If the metaphor is unclear—I am the eagle. And you are now my prey, Shifu!”

  Shifu slowly backed away.

  “I beat you once before, Pai Mei, when I stopped you from defeating the emperor,” Shifu said. “I warn you, I can do it again.”

  “I was disgraced and forced into exile!” Pai Mei remembered, crawling closer. “But in my loneliness, I’ve learned kung-fu secrets beyond your feeble comprehension.”

  He struck a fighting pose, and his fists glowed with white light. Quick as lightning, he struck a boulder behind Shifu. The rock exploded into pieces.

  “The Five-Fingered Blast Punch,” Shifu said. “I see you’ve mastered its secret.”

  “You will do more than see,” boasted Pai Mei. “You will feel, hear, taste, and possibly even smell that secret as well!”

  He lunged toward Shifu just as the Furious Five climbed back up to the temple. One by one they moved to attack Pai Mei. Shifu watched in fear as the monkey’s hands glowed white.

  His friends were in more danger than they realized!

  “Stop! All of you!” Shifu cried, jumping into the fray.

  Pai Mei didn’t listen. He struck a huge Croc statue with his glowing hand. The statue exploded, and the blast sent the Furious Five flying backward. Then Pai Mei jumped onto Po’s belly and raised his glowing fist.

  “No!” Shifu yelled. He put on his glasses and walked slowly toward Pai Mei. “Spare them, Pai Mei. Destroy me instead. I am old and at the end of my life.”

  “Bah! You are hardly worth fighting,” said Pai Mei with a wave of his paw. “You remind me of my grandfather.”

  “That’s nice,” Shifu said.

  “I HATED MY GRANDFATHER!” Pai Mei yelled. He jumped off Po and kicked Shifu, sending him skidding backward.

  “Your artistry is truly magnificent,” said Shifu, getting to his feet. “I would be honored if you could finish me with your blast punch.”

  Pai Mei grinned. “Done!” He aimed a glowing punch right at Shifu—but his fist hit the rock behind Shifu instead. “Huh?”

  “Sorry. My old, weak legs gave out,” Shifu said, appearing behind him. “Try it again.”

  Pai Mei jumped toward him, ready for another punch—and Shifu moved out of the way again. Pai Mei hit the statue behind him.

  “I . . . flinched,” Shifu said.

  Pai Mei launched one punch . . . and another . . . and another . . . but Shifu kept dodging them. Finally, it dawned on him.

  “Wait! You have misled me with lies from your face! You are not old or feeble!” Pai Mei cried.

  “No,” Shifu replied, taking off his glasses. “I just needed a little time to analyze your moves. Ha!”

  He struck Pai Mei with a blow to the chest. The monkey hopped backward onto the bridge.

  Shifu raised one paw over his head and swept the other behind him. Both of his paws began to glow. Pai Mei watched, stunned, as Shifu struck the bridge with his fist.

  The white, glowing light quickly spread across the stone bridge, cracking it. Then . . .

  BOOM! The bridge crumbled beneath Pai Mei, sending him plummeting far below.

  “Awesome!” Po cried.

  Shifu smiled. “Thanks. I guess old warriors like me are a force to be reckoned with.”

  He turned . . . and walked right into the flagpole.

  “Um, has anyone seen my glasses?”

  Master Shifu and the Furious Five returned to the Valley of Peace. Things were quiet there . . . but it didn’t last.

  A few days later, Shifu sent the Furious Five to watch over the Aqueduct Festival in the village. Workers in the valley had been building the aqueduct for months. Its bamboo gutters would bring water down from the mountains, over the fields of the poisonous mu tong plants, and into the village below.

  The villagers stopped and stared as the Furious Five walked to the festival. They looked frightened.

  “I think they’re staring at Viper,” Mantis realized.

  Curious, Viper slithered to a mother goat holding the hoof of a scared-looking little boy goat.

  “Are you okay?” Viper asked.

  “I’m so sorry,” the mother replied. “With all the stories we’ve been hearing, I guess we’re a little wary of snakes.”

  The boy pointed at Viper. “There’s an evil monster lurking in the forest. A scary snake—just like you!”

  Po marched up to the boy. “That’s crazy! Viper’s a great warrior and one of my best friends. Don’t be scared. I love everything about her. Her scales, her fangs, her sinister forked tongue . . . that creepy slithering thing she does . . .”

  Terrified, the boy burst into tears.

  “I think I’m winning him over,” Po said hopefully.

  Then a worker came running into the village. He looked delirious. “SNAKE ATTACK!” he yelled. “In the forest! Run for your lives! Fu-xi is coming!”

  Viper looked very surprised. “Fu-xi?”

  “Come on,” Tigress said. “We’d better let Shifu know what’s going on.”

  The Furious Five hurried back to the training hall.


  “Whoever Fu-xi is, he must be considered a grave menace,” Shifu said when he heard their story.

  “No! Lord Fu-xi is not a menace!” Viper protested.

  “What?” Shifu asked in surprise.

  “Lord Fu-xi is a descendant of the dragon gods,” Viper explained. “In the past, his venom filled his victims with mind-numbing fear, and he would let them flee unharmed. But then those who feared him persecuted Fu-xi and his family. As a result, he turned renegade, but every snake in China still regards him as a hero.”

  “But you saw what he did to that worker,” Po said. “You can’t possibly think he’s a hero.”

  “I’m a snake, aren’t I?” Viper replied.

  “Yeah, but you’re not like other snakes,” Po said. “You’re, you know . . . nice.”

  Viper frowned. “And other snakes aren’t?”

  “Yes,” Po said, then, “NO! Trick question.” He covered his mouth with his paws.

  “Enough!” said Shifu. “We’ve got to work together if we’re going to take down Fu-xi.”

  Viper shook her head. “I can’t do that,” she said. “I won’t fight against my own kind!”

  Shifu gave her a stern look. “Master Viper, I’d like to speak with you privately.”

  Viper followed Shifu into his tearoom. When they emerged a few minutes later, Shifu made an announcement.

  “Everyone, Viper has something she’d like to say.”

  Viper looked at her friends. “I may be a snake, but my first duty is to the Jade Palace. I’ll do what I can to stop Fu-xi.”

  “Viper, I’m sorry,” Po said. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

  “It’s okay, Po,” Viper said. “Forget it.”

  “Because of her expertise, I’m sending Viper to investigate the scene of the attack,” Shifu said. He nodded at Po. “You’re going with her, Po.”